The Ritual Textbooks Don't Explain
In English-speaking cultures, you're casual with same-age people almost immediately. In Korea, switching to 반말 (banmal — casual speech) is a social ritual with precise rules.
When Can You Use Banmal?
Same Age + Mutual Agreement
Someone proposes: 반말 할까요? (Shall we speak casually?)
Younger Than You (After Introduction)
Only after confirming age. Hence the universal Korean question: "몇 살이에요?" (How old are you?)
When NOT to Use Banmal
- With strangers
- With anyone older (even 1 year)
- With superiors at work
- With partner's family
| Polite (-요) | Banmal |
|---|---|
| 뭐 해요? | 뭐 해? |
| 고마워요 | 고마워 |
| 몰라요 | 몰라 |